Playing Catch: A Baseball Romance Page 21

  He was busy with her breasts, his face in her cleavage and his hands clutching her ass, as he helped her along, pushing her up and down, up and down, in glorious rhythm, riding the rail to ecstasy. Her breath came in puffs, and stars pulsated behind her eyelids. A rushing roar overcame her as floods of raw, naked sensations tore inside of her, ignited by his cock growing larger and harder.

  She screamed as the climax exploded, grinding him against that exquisite spot of hers. His movements rough, he clutched her, slamming himself deeper and shattering all her controls. The dam blocking her heart broke and unleashed a torrent of emotions, hurtling her into uncharted waters.

  She wanted to run, to jump away, disappear, drop down a hole. She felt naked, insane, helter-skelter, and worst of all, she saw George standing over her, grinning. You love me, Jeanine. Call me Papa. Say you love me. That’s a good girl.

  “Kirk, oh, Kirk …” Panic leapt over her heart, and her voice cracked. Raw, achy gasps hiccupped from her throat. “I don’t know what’s going on with me.”

  “Stay with me, babe.” He hugged her tight as his hips jerked and spasms convulsed inside of her.

  Jeanine burst into tears.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Kirk comforted Jeanine and held her tight as she sobbed convulsively. Was she regretting it already or had the sex touched on a traumatic experience? Maybe he should have held back, despite her wishes.

  He’d just had the most awesome experience ever, but now the woman he’d shared it with was weeping. She was still straddled over his softening cock, still wrapped around him.

  “You okay?” He caressed her softly. “I’m still here with you. Whatever happened back there, it’s okay.”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. All my feelings opened up and flooded me. I can’t get a handle on it.” She wiped her eyes and looked at him through teary eyelashes. “You must think I’m a mess.”

  “I love how you opened up to me. I love everything about you. I just want you to be okay.”

  “I am. Honest. I’ve never felt this way before. What have you done to me?” She leaned her forehead against his. “I’m scared. This feels so different, like I’m giving myself to you, and I have no control.”

  “It’s called making love, Jeanine. I’ve never experienced it either, but Dr. Sparks says when it happens it’s completely different.” He smoothed her hair from her face. “It’s scary, but it’s great. I want to keep holding you and never let you go. Usually, I’m sneaking out the door by now.”

  “I would have beaten you to the door.” She made a swooshing motion. “Gone.”

  “Yeah, especially since you were on top and I have a bum leg.”

  “Did I hurt you?” Concern etched her face as she moved off him.

  “Not at all.” He stretched his legs and heaved himself up from the loveseat. “Let me get cleaned up and meet you in the bedroom. I think I deserve a cuddle after those fireworks.”

  “You mean waterworks and fireworks.”

  “Yep, the works.” He put his arm around her and guided her, buck naked, to the bedroom.

  After stopping off at the bathroom to dispose of the condom, Kirk joined her under the covers and held out his arms. ‘This is a first for me.”

  “Me too,” she admitted and curled into his arms. “I hope I’m not scaring you. I’m usually not so needy, and I never cry after sex.”

  “Too busy escaping, I suppose.” He stroked her back and buried his nose in her hair, inhaling her scent. “Let me know when you’re ready for another round.”

  She laughed, her entire body relaxed and warm. “You really have me going. Crying and laughing. I don’t know what’s going on, but I feel like I can finally let my past go.”

  “That’s great, because you deserve to be happy.”

  “I do, don’t I?”

  “You do.” He kissed her lightly on the lips. “Now, relax and sleep tight. I’ll still be here in the morning.”

  * * *

  Jeanine woke sometime in the wee hours of the night. It took her a few moments to orient herself. A man snored in the bed, and her stomach rumbled and growled. She’d skipped dinner and found Kirk in her cabin. She was at the Recovery Ranch out in the mountains. She was supposed to heal from her traumatic experience, but instead, she’d slept with Kirk, a sex addict.

  Jeanine lay still and watched the moonlight bathe over Kirk’s strong and rugged features. From the high forehead to the straight nose to the cleft in his chin, he was one hundred percent manly man—the stuff heroes and legends were made of—a man women were attracted to.

  How in Heaven’s name would therapy change a player like him into a one-woman man? He’d never had to pass up temptation before. Once his leg was healed and he was back in the game of baseball, how would he keep his pants zipped on the road?

  Jeanine wanted to slap herself. Before Kirk, she’d never cared if a man she slept with was also sleeping with someone else. As long as he wore condoms and she tested clean year after year, she didn’t mind sharing. She had some limits, of course. No married men or men in committed relationships, but if a man was single and unattached, then it was game on while it was fun and no strings afterwards.

  Now, she was feeling possessive over Kirk. This was exactly why she’d never wanted a relationship before, and he was making it too easy for her to fall for him.

  Then what? Would he be gone by the morning, despite spending the night? Should she care? Or could she make him stay the way she’d gotten George all to herself when he’d asked his wife for a divorce?

  A smile froze over her face. Men really weren’t that hard to please. Their cocks ruled them, and if she could get their cocks hard for her, she could pull their strings.

  Even George Simpson.

  She shuddered at the thought, but it was true. If Kirk hadn’t been there, she was sure she could have talked George into anything she wanted. Not that she was blaming Kirk for jumping in, except he’d ruined his future.

  He should have let her handle it. She wasn’t a weak damsel in distress.

  Chills raised the tiny hairs on her arms as she perked her ears and listened to the night sounds. Outside, the coyotes yipped and crickets chirped. George was behind bars. She had nothing to worry about.

  Kirk was here. He’d help her get through the nightmares and flashbacks. He knew what he was getting into and he’d promised to stick with her.

  Kirk was hers, and she’d never let him go. She rolled onto her side and held onto Kirk’s hard, warm body as if he were a body pillow.

  “My Kirk,” she whispered. “You’re my lucky charm.”

  The next time she woke it was morning, and a decadent aroma filled the cabin: fresh roast coffee, maple syrup, and bacon. Sunlight filtered through the curtains and Jeanine checked the time on the alarm clock. Eight in the morning.

  The area where Kirk had slept was rumpled, and warmth lingered under the covers. Jeanine turned over and hugged his pillow, sniffing it and basking in his earthy and woodsy man-scent. She could get used to Kirk, not to mention the awesome sex. If she had her little black book, she’d score him a perfect ten in every aspect, especially in the orgasm department.

  Since he was in the kitchen, she hurried to the bathroom and got herself ready. The shower refreshed her, and she pulled on a casual, outdoorsy outfit: jeans, tank, chambray work shirt, and ankle boots. After applying light makeup, she stepped into the dining nook.

  Kirk stood in front of the stove flipping pancakes, wearing only a pair of sweatpants which hung low on his waist.

  Jeanine couldn’t help but admire the view before he turned and greeted her. “I figure I’d make myself useful. Brought the groceries over from my cabin and cooked you up breakfast.”

  “I intend to repay you in every way.” Jeanine glided into the kitchen and let him wrap her in his arms. “Mmm … did you sleep well?”

  “Yes, like a baby.” His deep voice burred against her ear, warming her insides immediately. “Wh
at’s the plan for today?”

  “I have a full day, but I’m hoping we can do something this evening. How about dinner? I’ll cook.”

  “Sounds heavenly.” He smushed his lips on her forehead and rubbed her back. “How did it feel to wake up with me this morning?”

  “You weren’t in bed with me.” She took a step back and put her hands on her hips. “I feel gypped.”

  “Wouldn’t you rather have coffee and pancakes?” He pressed her back and guided her to the table.

  “I was hoping for a morning cuddle, maybe even a quickie. Not that I’m complaining.” She smiled and sniffed the aroma of fresh brewed coffee.

  “If you eat your breakfast, I might be able to arrange that quickie.” He reeled her in for a wet kiss. “Besides, we’re here to recover from our issues, and we’ve gotten closer with words than anything our naughty bits would have done.”

  “Ah, but that naughty stick makes everything so much better.” She snagged a strawberry from the plate and rolled her tongue around it.

  “You’re making it hard, missy.” He ground his hardened bulge over the behind before pulling out a chair for her at the table.

  “Good.” She swept her hair over her shoulders and took the seat he’d pulled for her. “I intend to make you very, very hard.”

  “Best eat these pancakes while they’re nice and fluffy.” He strode to the stove and flipped the pancakes onto a plate.

  “Bet you want to eat my fluffy pancakes and lick them good. Shall we try it with maple syrup?”

  He chuckled and took a jug of syrup from the refrigerator along with a stick of butter. “I’ll hold you to all of this, but you might want to check with your therapist. Mine is telling me to withhold sex until I’ve established a friendly relationship. I get a sticker for every day I hold out.”

  “Oops, looks like you lost your sticker last night.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll lie to her.”

  “Then so will I.” She stuck out her hand to shake. “Friends only.”

  “The best of friends.” He shook and squeezed her fingers. “Let’s eat before you starve. I heard your stomach grumbling all night.”

  “Heard you snoring like a lion.”

  “You aren’t so quiet yourself.” He kidded her and served her a portion of food. “Which program are you here for?”

  “Trauma and PTSD, but the receptionist seemed to think I was here for the Love and Sex Addiction program.” Jeanine twirled her fork in the buttery syrup.

  “That’s because I added that to your program. Bribed the receptionist for your key, too.”

  “That was unprofessional of him to give it to you. What kind of place is this? It looks like it could use a facelift.”

  “Used to be a dude ranch. The recession knocked them under, at least according to Dick, the receptionist.”

  Jeanine covered her mouth and swallowed a giggle. “That’s his name?”

  “Hey, Dick is a perfectly good name.”

  “For a dick.” She chortled, almost choking on her food. “He was totally hitting on me, and to think he works for a ranch treating sex addicts.”

  “Bet he enjoys the clientele.” Kirk’s laughter boomed. “Hey, why didn’t I think of this before when I was a sex addict? Run a resort for sex addicts. How much fun would that be?”

  Jeanine glanced out the window. “Loads of fun, except they wouldn’t want to come to the backwoods for that. We’d have to have it in Vegas or somewhere. A convention for sex addicts. Think what the meet and greet would be like.”

  “Or all the nightcaps.”

  “Room service, yum, yum.”

  “You take on the bellboys and I’ll lick up the maids.”

  Jeanine punched Kirk lightly on the bicep. “That’s going too far. The only person you’re licking is me.”

  “Jealous, much?” He rubbed the spot she’d hit, not that she’d hit him hard.

  “Absolutely. You created a green-eyed monster last night. Add all the romantic things you shared with me, and I’m a goner.”

  “It’ll be your turn to share when you get your homework.” He waggled his eyebrows. “I’m all ears.”

  “What are you talking about? You mean everything you said was homework?”

  “I’m not giving it away, but yes, my therapist wants me to be bold and not hide my feelings. Say what I want and let the chips fly.”

  “Okay, then.” Jeanine sat up straighter and leaned toward Kirk. “I want to give up one-night stands and be addicted to one person.”

  Her heartrate tripled as she scanned his eyes to see if he was on the same page. If she wasn’t going to be doing multiple men, then she wanted to at least do one—mainly Dirty Kirk Kennedy.

  Kirk slid his hand across the table and took her hand, intermingling their fingers. “I’m all for addictions for the right reason.”

  “What’s the right reason?” Her breath caught in her throat at his serious tone, but also from the touch of his firm hand and the direction she hoped he would lead the conversation.

  “Didn’t you wonder about the program name? Love and Sexual Addiction? They’re going to teach us how to love.”

  “They are?”

  “Yes, after all, if we both knew how to love healthily, we wouldn’t be sex addicts.”

  “True, but then, we’d be the blind leading the blind.”

  “We could be each other’s first love.” His lake blue eyes sparkled as if the sun had peeked out from behind a cloud.

  “I’ve never fallen in love before.” Jeanine couldn’t tear her eyes from him, although last night felt close. But then, she could be mistaking the bonding hormones emitted by sex as love.

  “Neither have I, but I definitely feel something for you.”

  “Strangely enough, I feel something for you, too,” Jeanine admitted. “You were getting on my nerves, knocking me off balance. I get flustered and jittery, but I’m still not ready to fall in love. I don’t know if a class can teach me.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” Kirk kissed her hand. “Let what happens come naturally. You have to unlearn a lot of bad behavior before you can emerge like a butterfly from a chrysalis. Beautiful, vibrant, and fully alive.”

  “I want that.” Jeanine’s heart twisted and a yearning ache radiated to the tips of her fingers. “I want to be alive. I want to stop hiding from my past. I want to move forward.”

  “Then you’ve come to the right place, and I’m going to be right here with you, by your side.”

  “How did I get so lucky?” She scooted her chair closer to him and dotted a kiss on his lips. “To have you as my first love.”

  “First, last, and forever.” He completed her thought and opened himself to her, deepening the kiss.

  Was this how a man wooed a woman? By words alone? If so, then, she too, could attract a man without using sex, but just by being herself.

  Why hadn’t she figured this out before?

  * * *

  Kirk finished his afternoon counseling session with a walk down the river with his therapist, a man who used to be a rock star, but was now happily married and raising three children.

  His worst fear was if he’d relapse into his bad behavior and end up hurting Jeanine, but Rick gave him tips on how to avoid a relapse. He’d substitute temptation with the memory of emptiness and picture losing all the progress he’d made, having to start at ground zero again.

  Being obsessed with Jeanine had its positives, and one of them was a distinct lack of interest in checking out other women’s bodies or fantasizing about how they’d be in bed. Besides, he couldn’t wait to go back to the cabin and have another round with her. They’d missed out on the quickie because they took too long for breakfast.

  He had one more activity for the day, mindful meditation for him to clear his mind from all the guilt and shame he’d accumulated growing up. He’d always thought that him not being a good enough boy was the reason his mother ran around with other men, that him not being a stellar athlete was why
his father had an entire second family.

  The horses were back in the corral, and in the distance, he spied Jeanine dismounting from a beautiful chestnut colored horse. Because of the wound in his thigh, he was unable to take advantage of the trail rides and therapy that went with learning to bond with a large and strong animal—the horse—who oftentimes had its own will.

  He waited for Jeanine to pet her horse and have a talk with it. Her blond hair fluttered in the wind and she kept throwing it from her eyes, while stroking the horse’s head and feeding it apples and carrots.

  He knew he shouldn’t get so attached to her, at least not while he was in therapy, but the attraction was too strong, and last night, while they slept together after sex, he’d felt the earth turn off its axis as he held her. Was it possible that he’d already fallen for her?

  Jeanine said goodbye to the horse and looked his direction. Her smile brightened her entire face, and she waved exuberantly, happy to see him. She was relaxed and walked with an easy gait, unlike her usual ramrod stiff power walk.

  He picked up his pace and ambled toward the barn to meet her.

  “You two know each other?” her therapist, a middle-aged woman with long straight gray hair, asked after Kirk greeted Jeanine with a warm hug.

  “Yes, we’re friends back home,” Jeanine said. “It was a coincidence that he’s here, too.”

  “I’m Phyllis, a counselor here.” The woman introduced herself to Kirk. “We usually prefer clients to leave all their baggage at home.”

  Kirk was floored at Phyllis’s remark. “I don’t understand. What do you mean by baggage?”

  “I can’t discuss a client’s case with anyone else, but I would prefer that Jeanine not associate with anyone she knows from home.” She put her hand on Jeanine’s shoulder. “It’ll be easier for you to let the past go if you aren’t confronted with it while here. This is supposed to be a safe haven.”

  “Oh, Kirk is fine,” Jeanine said. “He’s not the cause of my traumatic experience. He’s just a good friend. Don’t worry about the sexual addiction either. We’re not involved or anything.”