Playing Catch: A Baseball Romance Read online

  “Is she getting help?” Dr. Sparks’ face filled with concern.

  “I asked her to, but I’m giving her space and not hovering over her to make sure she’s seeing a therapist.”

  “That’s wise of you. Not many men are able to have such well-defined boundaries. That’s actually a good thing for her recovery—knowing that she has to take the initiative and not lean on you for direction.”

  “She’s a very independent woman,” Kirk said. “We’re not really in a relationship yet. We’re just friends right now.”

  “Sounds smart. I do want to caution you that recovering from sexual addiction, especially if caused by abuse, takes time and there will be setbacks along the way. Being friends takes some of the pressure off, and allows her not to be confused about your motivations.”

  Kirk breathed deeply and nodded. “I only want what’s best for her, although I have to admit I’m interested in her.”

  After the doctor gave Kirk a few exercises to do at home, mainly writing things down and recognizing triggers, Kirk brought the envelope full of letters onto the table.

  “There’s one more thing.” He pulled out the letters. “My mother sent these letters to me. Could you read a few of them and tell me what you think?”

  “Sure. It might help me understand more about your relationship with her.” The doctor took the envelope but didn’t pull out the letters.

  “Actually they’re not from her to me. It’s something I found disturbing and I don’t know why she sent them to me. Could you read them now? I need to know what you think.”

  She glanced at her clock. “We only have a few minutes, and I’d rather have time to formulate my response.”

  “I understand, but I need your reaction to know what I should do about these.” Kirk’s knee jittered under the table. If what he suspected was true, Jeanine was in worse shape than she’d let on.

  “I would need to study these further,” Dr. Sparks said. “Let’s talk about the relationship your mother had with your father. Shall we?”

  “Maybe next time.” Kirk stood and took back the letters. He was more interested in the doctor’s reaction to the letters, but at the same time, he didn’t need her to confirm his suspicions. Jeanine had been in a Stockholm syndrome-like relationship, and if these letters were real, and not something made up to spook him about her, then whoever had written them was a very sick man.

  * * *

  Jeanine blew into her hands and took a deep breath to keep from hyperventilating, as the elevator beeped its way up to Dr. Sparks’ office. She was going to do this—get the help she’d denied she needed. Now that she’d met Kirk, she couldn’t stand the thought of being anything less than one hundred percent. That episode in his bedroom had been appalling. How could she tease him like that and fail to deliver? She’d always been good about giving and getting when it came to sex—an even exchange.

  What must Kirk think about her now? A sizzling chill gripped her limbs as the elevator came to a stop. Maybe the reason he wasn’t calling or texting her was because he wanted nothing to do with her now that he knew she came with baggage. A guy like him could have any woman he wanted, and with the competition to get onto the team roster and be the Rattlers’ regular catcher, he didn’t have time for her and her issues. He was used to getting his rocks off and any woman would do. She was right to retreat to being friends with him.

  She straightened her shoulders and tossed her hair back. It wasn’t good to get too dependent on what he thought about her. If he was finished with her, at least he’d gotten her to see her need for help. She had that to be grateful for.

  The elevator door opened and her heart stuttered.

  Kirk was standing on the other side about to enter.

  “Hey, how’re you doing?” He smiled and waited for her to step out.

  “I’m … I’m on my way to see a therapist.” She walked from the elevator with her posture straight and tall. She’d read somewhere that pet birds disguised their discomforts very well, to the extent that their owners were unaware if they were ill, mainly because in the wild, they couldn’t afford to let predators know their weakened condition and single them out for attack.

  “That’s wonderful.” He extended his arms for a hug. “I just had an appointment.”

  Her heart was already fluttering from the impending appointment, but seeing Kirk so friendly and welcoming had her sighing inside. She stepped to him and melted into his arms.

  “I’m so glad to see you. I missed you.” She spoke to his chest, her eyes closed against the heat of his body.

  “I missed you, too. You don’t know how many times I wanted to stop by your bar and visit.” He kissed the top of her head.

  “I have to do this on my own.” She exhaled and backed away to look at him. “I hope you don’t think I’m unrepairable.”

  “You’re not beyond repair.” He touched her cheek. His simple gesture warmed her heart more than any reassuring words he could have given her.

  “Thank you, Kirk. That means a lot.” She wanted to close her eyes and lean into his hand, wished he would kiss her, and maybe, just maybe, take her away down the elevator so she wouldn’t have to speak to the doctor—at least not today.

  But he released her and gave her a tiny push toward the doctor’s office. “Go before you’re late.”

  “Will you wait for me? Maybe we can have coffee and compare notes.”

  “I would love to, but I have to be at the clubhouse.” Kirk rubbed his hand across the back of his neck. “I’m playing this afternoon.”

  She touched his forearm to keep the connection longer. “I’ve never seen you play.”

  “Then, you’re in for a treat. Can you get away from the bar to attend the game?” His eyes twinkled as he dug tickets from his pocket. “I always have a few handy. Here, home plate seats.”

  “I’ll take two.”

  “Don’t tell me you have a date.” He peeled out two printed tickets.

  “My sparring partner, Skye. She’s been hinting about meeting some of the players.” Jeanine gave Kirk a wink. “Not that I’d introduce her to you, because I’m kind of wanting to keep the best to myself.”

  “Smart cookie. I’ll see you after the game for autographs.” He flashed her an arrogant smirk and jabbed the elevator button.

  Jeanine kept her grin pasted on her face as she turned the corner down to the doctor’s office. Had Kirk blown her off? She’d better be careful about laying claim to him. Guys like him didn’t like clingy women, and heck, she usually wasn’t possessive. Her stomach growled and clenched in on itself, calling her on the lie.

  Okay, so she’d been fishing, wondering whether he’d been going out with other women, and yes, hoping for a compliment that he also considered keeping her for himself, too.

  Get a grip. The man’s a player and getting treated for sexual addiction. He’s got commitment issues. Why would he want to settle for a basket case like me? Especially one who can’t finish what she starts?

  She pushed the door open into the reception area for Dr. Sparks. The receptionist was speaking to another patient, so Jeanine grabbed a magazine and stood a fair distance away. Her heart thudded like a nail gun and her stomach turned queasily. Was she truly ready to talk about herself to a therapist? This was going to hurt.

  But then, George was out of jail, and in her heart of hearts, she knew he’d contact her one way or another. He’d taken a plea, telling the press that he hadn’t wanted to expose her by going through a trial. He’d said he was sorry, but not sorry for loving her, and that when he got out of jail, she’d be an adult and that she’d wait for him.

  Had she done exactly that? Was that why she couldn’t find a normal man and build a life with him?

  “Miss,” the receptionist said. “Do you have an appointment?”

  “Yes, I do. I’m a new patient. My name’s Jeanine Jewell.”

  “Great. Nice to meet you, Miss Jewell.” The receptionist handed her a clipboard with a pile of paper
s. “Please fill out this questionnaire and the doctor will see you in half an hour.”

  “Sure, thanks.” Jeanine’s mouth dried up as she grabbed a pen and perused the questionnaire. The first few questions weren’t too bad, but the ones on the second page were intrusive.

  Are you or your partner concerned about your sexual behavior?

  Were you sexually abused as a child or adolescent?

  Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts?

  Have you felt degraded by your sexual behaviors?

  When you have sex, do you feel depressed afterwards?

  Has sex (or romantic fantasies) been a way for you to escape your problems?

  Do you ever think your sexual desire is stronger than you are?

  She hated checking yes, yes, yes, yes. Damn, she was a mess if her sexual desire was stronger than she was.

  Jeanine had always prided herself on her strength. It was all she had. The strength to not be a victim, to survive until she was old enough to save money, put herself in college, and buy a share of a business.

  She was strong. She had to be stronger than something stupid like sex.

  But then, around Kirk, she was a weakling. So weak that she’d practically thrown herself at him. So weak that fear crawled up her throat at the thought of Kirk turning away from her. If he’d been the one to freeze up on her, how would she have felt?

  Jeanine scanned the rest of the survey full of questions dealing with sex with strangers. She’d never done some of the more risky things like cruise public restrooms and parks looking for sex with strangers. And yuck, she’d never had sex with minors or joined sex clubs and engaged in sadomasochistic acts.

  Had George ever taken a survey like this? Had he gotten treatment in jail? Maybe they’d let him out because he was reformed.

  Would he contact her and explain why he did the things he did? Did she want him to?

  Jeanine hurriedly finished the survey, checking yes to the question: Do you believe casual or anonymous sex has kept you from having more long-term intimate relationships?

  This was the reason she came to Dr. Sparks. She wanted to be normal, but at the same time, being normal was scary. Who’d want to be in a long-term intimate relationship with her?

  Certainly not Kirk Kennedy.

  A dark cloud draped over Jeanine at the casual way he’d handed her the tickets, as if she were another one of the groupies who followed him around for an autograph and a one-nighter.

  She didn’t have time for this charade. Ripping the questionnaire in two, Jeanine left the clipboard on an end table and strode out of the office.

  Useless tears bubbled from her eyes, and she hastily swiped them on her way to the elevator. She’d cut back on the one-night stands on her own.

  She’d gone cold turkey for weeks at a time. It wasn’t as if she had a sexual addiction problem. Kirk was making a mountain out of a molehill.

  She enjoyed sex. She didn’t want a relationship, and he made her nervous with his care and concern. What did he really want from her?

  Not watching where she was going, Jeanine dashed around a corner and slammed into a hard, dense, and very male chest.

  “Whoa, there, sugar,” a deep voice drawled as a man grabbed onto her wrist.

  It was one of the hooded stalkers, only he had his hood down.

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to run into you.” Jeanine backed away from his grasp.

  “Is this the right way to Dr. Sparks’ office?” The man let go and wiped his fingers through his dark brown hair. It hung a little longish into his open hood. Cat-like green-brown eyes studied her over a strong, straight nose and sparkling white teeth.

  “Yes, right around the corner. First door to the left.” Jeanine rubbed her wrist where he’d touched. Okay, so he wasn’t the least bit scary, and he was the usual type of guy she bedded. But obviously, he was also seeing Dr. Sparks.

  “I’m a little early for my appointment,” the man said. “By the way, name’s Ty. You have time for a cup of coffee?”

  “Uh, actually, I’m in a hurry. Late for work.”

  “Sure, maybe next time. Are you seeing her regularly?”

  “Uh, I really can’t say. I have to go.” Turning quickly, she hustled to the elevator. She’d never met this man before, other than seeing him outside her apartment building showing off his abs the morning of Bianca’s karate test. He could even be one of the men who’d robbed her place.

  Her pulse pounding, she jiggled the elevator button. This was the last time she was coming to Dr. Sparks’ office, where all the sexually addicted men congregated.

  “Didn’t mean to scare you.” The deep voice purred behind her, too close.

  How’d he do that? Zoom in on her without her being aware?

  “You better back off or I’ll Mace you.” She hugged her purse close. “I saw you that morning stalking me. Did you break into my apartment?”

  His face turned to stone and his eyes dulled as if he’d pulled down the shutters. “Can’t a man be friendly without being accused of a crime?”

  Thankfully, the elevator arrived with a beep, and the doors swished open. Jeanine stepped in, but the man followed her.

  “Thought you had an appointment.” She parked herself by the control panel.

  “Told you I’m early. I’ll walk you to your car.”

  “I’d rather you didn’t.” Jeanine had her finger poised over the emergency call button.

  Ty blocked the elevator doors from closing. “Suit yourself. But a word of warning. I saw who you were speaking to before you went into Dr. Sparks’ office. He’s got his own reasons for getting close to you.”

  “He’s none of your business.” Jeanine withdrew the can of pepper spray from her purse. “I’m warning you. Back off.”

  “If you ever need my help, here’s my card.” Ty slipped his hand into his pocket and threw the card on the floor of the elevator, stepping out before Jeanine had a chance to spray him.

  The elevator doors closed and Jeanine put the can back in her purse. She didn’t bother picking up his card, and it wasn’t until she was in her car before she realized she should have taken it to the police.

  Damn. She wasn’t going back into that building ever again. And what had that man meant about Kirk? That he had ulterior motives for getting close to her?

  She stopped by Marcia’s house and gifted the two tickets to Pappy and Bianca. They could enjoy an afternoon at the ball park. As for Jeanine, she was cutting all ties with Kirk.

  Maybe she was being paranoid, but only the paranoid survive.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  “We killed it!” Brock slapped Kirk on the back and gave him a high five as he crossed home plate with a last inning home run.

  Taking a glance at the spectators sitting behind home plate, Kirk raised his fists and pumped. The sun was setting and the shadows were too deep for him to pick Jeanine out from the crowd, but she was sure to be up there cheering and screaming her head off.

  He’d played his heart out knowing she was in the stands watching him. It wasn’t only the home run that made him tonight’s most valuable player, but also the last out at the plate when he stood his ground and took a hit from a baserunner who’d dived headfirst.

  Before heading for the clubhouse, he and his teammates gathered near the outfield fence to sign autographs. It was a routine thing during spring training, where the atmosphere was more relaxed than during the regular season.

  As soon as Brock and Kirk approached the fence, women screamed and shook their t-shirts, programs, and other items to be signed.

  Jeanine wasn’t among them. Kirk shrugged, not surprised. She was probably pissed off because he’d played it too cool with her. Which was okay, because it showed she cared. Women like her, independent and tough, didn’t like men who slathered on the praise or acted cowed in their presence. Of course, she was the best thing to happen to him, but he wasn’t going to let her get a leg up over him, unless it was to ride him good
and hard.

  “Sir? Can I please have your autograph?” A little girl handed Kirk a stuffed bear, the type with the smooth skin for autographs.

  “Sure. Can you spell your name for me so I can put a big heart around it?” Kirk gave her a warm smile. She was a tomboyish one, wearing the Rattlers’ cap backwards, two pigtails, freckled face and a big gap in her front teeth from a recent tooth fairy visit.

  “B-I-A-N-C-A, Bianca,” the girl said loudly. “I’m named after my grandmother, Fiona.”

  “Why, Bianca.” Brock handed a ball back to a little boy and turned his daughter’s baseball cap around. “I didn’t know you were coming to the game today.”

  “We got a special surprise,” Bianca said. “Auntie J’s at home babysitting Boo, so Pappy and I got to come to the game.”

  “That’s great. Was Boo sleeping or awake when you left?”

  “He was asleep,” Pappy said from behind Bianca.

  “Oh, sorry, I forgot to introduce you,” Brock turned to Kirk. “This is Marcia’s father, Ron Powers, and of course you figured out this little powerhouse here is Bianca, my daughter.”

  The way he said ‘my daughter’ was full of pride and sent a twinge to Kirk’s heart. He’d heard the story behind it all and was happy that his buddy had his family back.

  “Glad to meet you. I’m Kirk Kennedy.” Kirk shook Ron’s hand. “Been buddies with Brock since the Copperhead days.”

  “We ought to have you over for a barbecue,” Ron said. “Binky can invite some of her friends, and I bet their dads would like to meet you. You know she’s trying out for Little League this year?”

  “T-ball, still.” Bianca crossed her arms. “I’m too little for Little League.”

  “You’ll get there.” Brock chuckled. “Cowabunga, dude.”

  “Booyakasha!” She high-fived him. “Only the old guys say ‘Cowabunga.’”

  “I can’t get into Booyakasha, but fine, Boo you!” Brock picked his daughter up and put her over his shoulders. “Let’s go get some grub. Hot dogs, pizza, or burgers.”